kipepeo

i have/am moved/moving

2006-11-19T12:42:00.000+01:00

I'm moving....setting up camp elsewhere....so change your links to.... this.......and yes, housewarming tiramisu all round...

2006-11-18T18:52:00.000+01:00

My new vice as people know by now is Greys anatomy...I just can't get enough. Drama is a mirror on society and I guess thats why so many times I see myself in the characters of this particular series...and they say words that ring so true to me... Like when Dr. Bailey aka the nazi is talking to Christina bout making decisions bout stuff you have to do..."you just have to know, and when you don't know, then no one can fault you for it. you do what you can when you can,... while you can, when you can't,... you can't"... for those moments where I break myself wondering what I could have done different or break myself wondering what I can do to turn things around....when I know deep, very deep down that there is nothing I can do, or could have done different or to make things better. Sometimes, things are meant to be a certain way and there really is no point fighting fate. It's really too big a force to try and knock out really.

As for the pain associated with letting things go...well, its true, sometimes, you just have to just go through it, feel and ...ahem "embrace" the burn...hey what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? But when do you draw a close to the burn? When do you say enough is enough, there can't be a burn anymore because it's too much, it's too draining and you just want some peace without having to tend to internal flames. And when the burn does decide to go, then there is this emptiness. You're not mad, or hurting anymore, the element that was the burning factor is gone, and in its place, well there is nothing. No more crying to do, no more hating, no more burning, just a deafening silence and you're heart beat to remind you that yes, you are still alive so deal! Where do you even begin to pick up the pieces and how do you normalise the life you were left with that looks like something that was spat out by a shredder? What is normal anyway? Ok, too much thought going on here...

only in finland

2006-11-16T00:29:00.000+01:00

We had a dinner tonight....it was a business school etiquette dinner. So the full dress up, complete with heels, had my hair straight which I havn't done in a long while. It was interesting to see everyone all dressed up...well apart from the ones who don't really know what formal means and came in .... uhm....well...less than formal clothes. But we all had a good time, good food, good wine and good company. After which, we all obviously went clubbing. When I say all, I mean all, including one of my professor's and mind you he isn't young at all, He is older than my father and could well be old enough to be my grandpa. But he came, chatted with us and got down on the dance floor! And dude, he's like an energiser bunny...he went on and on and on. Only in Finland! Oh then I tried that tobacco stuff that Finns put in their mouths...it was...well...an interesting experience. I didn't really feel anything, but it tastes HORRID!!! I'm not trying that again thank you very much. But I do think I'm forgetting how to dance. With all these white dancers...I find myself just swaying to the music and watching people do some interesting things in the name of dance. And again, I think I'm becoming anti-social or I'm just getting bored of the same crowd! Same faces, same boring conversations. Then how I mentioned that I am off men. Even when I kinda like someone, I just don't feel the urge to do anything about it and treat them as I would anyone else....is there something terribly wrong with me? And when they figure that they aren't getting anything out of me, well, they obviously move on, and that doesn't bother me either. So it's like I really didn't like them in the first place. Hmm...oh well! Anyway, off to watch my new vice - grey's anatomy.

Of swimming pools and tv series'

2006-11-14T16:30:00.000+01:00

I went swimming today. I used to swim lots when I was younger, but in the recent years, I can count the number of times I have gotten into a pool to actually swim let alone just splash around....and I can count them on one hand. But it's a good way to excercise, so...there I found myself in the pool. I went last week and after just one lap I was ready to go home. But I pushed a little harder. This time, I did significantly better and I must say, I was quite proud of myself. But I also did lots of watching people in between my laps. There were these four teenage girls all giddy with life, in their little bikini's and strutting around, but trying to cover themselves up...dude!! why wear a bikini if you're going to be constantly covering your bones? Bones because these little spring chicks were all toothpicks, not even the toothpick with curves version, no, just plain old toothpicks. In the extreme opposite, there was this lady wearing a bikini...really strutting her stuff, no hiding nothing....and dude, well, let's just say I think she would have been better off in a full costume. Oh...hmmmm I think I'm getting old. Another set of youngin's were fooling around in the lane next to me and splashing all this water everywhere....more importantly on me as i swam by.....Goodness, I found myself making a face and mumbling about "just what do they think they are doing?"....Just like one of those old people that go off at you when you're young and splashing around. Then I began to laugh at myself in mid stroke, so I'm sure they were left questioning my sanity! But all in all it was fun and I definately will go back....its also good alone time. And you can do nothing else but pant from lack of oxygen and think. So after my swim I came home to watch grey's anatomy. I really should stop watching these series'. i have a crush on Dr. Burke now....not that my crush on Conrad from weeds is over, but man oh man!! He's a doctor and he's just so...to the point and ben&jerry's icecream yummy!

2006-11-13T18:27:00.000+01:00

I'm fat! I know I know I know...cliche line from a woman. I'm not usually a size zero like all those models on the runway...I absolutely love my curves. But what I don't like are curves in the wrong place. I went on a different pill for like six weeks and oh my did things happen. Apart from my blood pressure going up, I got curves in all the wrong places...yes in just six weeks! I came off it but it just will not budge!! The weighing scale I mean. aaargh! I would hate to think what would have happened if I was on it for longer. It's horrible.

2006-11-10T23:56:00.000+01:00

To everyone outside my blog, I am miss smiley! I speak to everyone and walking home consists of a string of hello's and smiles. Thats just me I guess.
But today I don't really feel like miss smiley.
Sometimes I just don't feel like it.
I went to another international party today.
Enter into a whirlwind of endless chatter, cigarette smoke and everyone holding onto a beer or their poison of choice in a plastic cup. Music playing through really big, mean looking speakers from this little mp3 player....students!!
I sit for a while, just watching everyone socialise, laugh, talk about nothing and everything. The radiator that I'm leaning on feels oh so nice against my back and for once, I couldn't be bothered to smile and say hi to all these people.
The radiator feels nice, but there is still a breeze coming from somewhere and the cigarette smoke is plain yucky and suddenly all I want is my bed.
So I look for my jacket in the midst of the oceans of jackets that mostly all look the same to me. Find it and leave. Making sure that I don't tell anyone coz I know I shall definately get "no...don't go just yet, you just got here." And apart from that, I'm tired of explaining that "no there is nothing wrong with me, I just want to sit here with the radiator against my back".
So I leave.
Between the numerous number of times I nearly fall on my ass coz of the ice, it feels nice to be outside, the air is really fresh and crisp...I now know first hand what "crisp air" feels like! lol... The sky is gorgeous and clear, full of stars. And if it wasn't for the cold and my not wearing gloves, I would have stayed out there a while longer.

I was talking to someone today and no matter what you do, how much you hate it, there are people in your life that are there to stay! You least expect them to be there when you need someone and they come out goodness knows which crevasse just at that point.....So for being there for me even when you don't know you are....thank you...even if I don't say it as much as I should.

By the way, I thought jay Z retired??

2006-11-10T14:47:00.000+01:00

My ethnic background usually doesn’t get in my way. I’m firstly me…kipepeo before attaching myself to an ethnic group. Being mixed sometimes means you’re not black enough, or you’re not white enough. But I refuse to see people as white or black…they are just who they are and in today’s world, German doesn’t necessarily mean your blonde haired and blue eyed. Or being oh I don’t know Gambian doesn’t necessarily mean you have to have chocolate skin. I grew up in Kenya. I was born in Nairobi hospital and I’ve done all my growing up in Kenya. I consider myself Kenyan. It’s as simple as that.

I have never lived in a place where I have neighbours, more like my parents decided we needed to grow up in a place where the nearest neighbours were a 10 min walk away and that walk you would not dare take un-accompanied…what, out on the road alone? Never. Therefore I had banana trees and cows for friends…well my brother too and my hobbies consisted of making endless numbers of wooden stools for my mother…all in different colors…hey I was creative! Plus I went to a day school. I speak English at home for a reason. English is the common language between my parents. Not that I don’t understand or speak their own respective languages, but English is what we speak at home….its sensibly the easiest thing to do! So I never got to pick up sheng. I do hate it when people who pick on my not speaking sheng and conclude that I don’t speak Swahili and therefore by extension (to them), cannot call myself Kenyan, because proof of nationality (again according to them) is that you can speak the language (“the language” being sheng). It bites even more when this person is supposed to be a friend. Great to know what they actually think I guess.

I’m not one of those mixed people who have an identity crisis and are constantly asking “what am I?” I know who I am and I don’t need the color of my skin to define me. If my physical appearance did define me, then whoa!! I would be quite mixed up….seeing that most people think I’m Indian, right down to calling me Punjabi….let alone mixed race. But it doesn’t come in my way. I just laugh at what the next person will come up with next! It does however really really sting when people bring certain issues and question my nationality.

Weirder still how in the span of like two months, I’ve had the color of my skin questioned as well as my nationality!! After all these years of living in bliss, they bring all these issues up in two months? Give a girl a break!!

Of preppy-ness and white hands...

2006-11-08T19:41:00.000+01:00

I was watching some Finnish girls go past me the other day at a coffee shop…all preppy, and well for Finns, seeing as their sense of fashion is slightly warped, looking well in the mix of things clothes wise. There I was in my sweater, jeans, boots…and when I say boots, take out that image forming in your mind of cool snazzy boots….no these are boots!! I used to be one of them. Back at home in my up to date wardrobe, little pretty sandals on my feet, hair done and healthily bouncing along as a result of going to the hairdressers almost every week. My feet were nice and supple and I was one of the preppy ones in my own way and with my own sense of fashion. But here, I couldn’t care less. First I have to be warm for my 20 minute walk to school, then I have to wear these big, gumboot type boots so that I don’t fall on my ass walking on the ice. And as a result, my feet are nothing but supple, the weather really doesn’t help. Your skin gets all dry from the constant cold and you hair!!! Let’s not even get into that! You know the way there are hair products for heat resistance when you use tongs and things, there should be something made for cold resistance coz honestly!! But on the other hand, I’m less worried bout all those things. And in its own way, it’s liberating. I can wear my hair wild and still be me and when I class up, it makes quite the impact! But I’m sure when I go home my mother will think I’ve turned into one of those artsy, wispy, hippy type people lol! On to other things…Someone blogged about the new pronto condom!!! It is soooooo cool…ok I am not a nympho or anything, but dude, I watched the demo and I was like….wow!!! Now why did they not think of that before? Then I noticed something funny…lol, the demo is done on a black model of a penis…(its not real) and the hands doing the “condom application” are white. Strange!

2006-11-07T22:41:00.000+01:00

I didn't reeeeeeaaally think of rihanna before...her music was just a breather in the club that I could dance to in the middle of the oooooodles of techno! But I must say, I quite like her album "a girl like me". In other news, the weather sucks! It can't decide if it wants to rain or snow. So it does both. It rains today, it snows tomorrow! hmm! I was walking around in town today running to the bank....long story and by the time I got home, my jeans were drenched up to my knees. My split ends and the funky haircut I gave myself....funky being interesting!! I cut it so it looks like an inverted "v"...not out of choice....no nothing like that, out of my inability to be a hairdresser. Anyway, my v haircut and my split ends are beginning to irk me now! Anyhoo....I've been feeling a bit out of it recently. In an eerie sort of feeling, my life doesn't feel like it belongs to me. It's like I woke up and found myself in this place. I function just like she would...but it's not really me. Oh well, at least I function enough to count down weeks to me going home!! suuuuun!!! By the way....I admit! I am an addict! I cannot get enough of weeds. However, I was this close to going on strike and not watching it since Nancy kissed Conrad!!! He belongs to me!!!! That man is finer than anything I have ever seen! Then he took off his shirt to play basketball, did I almost die infront of the screen or what? slurp slurp....mc.dreamy is alive!

2006-11-03T19:15:00.000+01:00

I really hate this blogger beta thing! It always plays around with me when im commenting on someone's post and when I want to log in to post...thus the silence....hihi perfect excuse!! So I passed financial statement analysis better than I thought, but dude!!!!! Supply chain management!!! full marks.....hello!!!!! So I've been feeling yummy bout that. I'm playing my music, drinking wine and getting a buzz from that, almost going for some random party! I put on this top that I think is really pretty, but my boobs seem to be pouring out of it, and I'm not about to do peep shows ala janet jackson thanks...which is likely to happen if I have some alcohol in my system! So, after my emotional backlog was trashed as I mentioned in an earlier post, I seem to be so much happier! I even found myself smiling to myself on my way home the other day....all alone! Alot of it has to do with the fact that have faith in Karma and I know it's coming, another is as trivial at it may seem, I so want to do something wow and be someone so amazing that said people eat my dust as I go past them with a look of...."you look familiar but I'm not too sure where I've seen you"! Then apart from this, I get to go home in like 5 weeks....I need some sun!!! Snow in october is not a plan!! I should be showered with jacaranda purple flowers rather than snow! It's just not meant to happen like that. And as soon as I land, I am heading to the hairdressers! The haircut I gave myself some time ago leaves alot to be desired and I have a feeling once my hairdresser sees the work of art I created she will not be too amused. Anyway, off to get intoxicated and start my weekend.....have a good one everyone...lots of flutter dust and happy thoughts....

Halloween...

2006-10-28T19:05:00.000+02:00

Since halloween is coming and today there is an international student's halloween party and I was doing some research for what to wear...something quick and easy...oh how the internet depletetes my talent for imagination. Anyway, I came across this website and the ideas on it are hillarious!! My favorite is dress in pink and stick a shoe on ur head....outcome....gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe!! made my evening!!! Apart from that, only in Italy do parliamentarians argue about transgender toilets... Hope everyone is having a super weekend....

2006-10-25T13:39:00.000+02:00

Just came home from an exam in an extremely and I cannot overemphasize extremely boring course....supply chain management! It totally irkes my world!! Then I had really studied, dude the material that professor man gave us to study, was enough paper to kill all the trees in Finland for! Then...hmm....(as I flair my hands up in the air to fully express my point!!) he goes and brings this silly exam....with like a third of the material...after I had a sleepless night of studying!! hmmm! arms akimbo! But somehow I'm having a good day. Must be because last night I kinda put certain issues that have been bothering me for the better part of this year to rest...well kinda...I kinda had a bit of closure by sending an email with what I felt. Shed my last tear and I think I may be a bit better! So on to the topic of the day!!!.....My mode of transport...

See I don't own a car...why would I want one of those here? Just problems...today I watched this car get pulled over as I was waiting for the lights to go green at the road where I'm still trying to figure out why they pulled out the last traffic lights and replaced them with new ones, complete with new pedestrian "I need to cross the road" buttons as I call them. They were perfectly fine and working!! Mysteries of Finland! Anyway, as I was waiting, this car was pulled over by the cops...now cops in Finland just look MEAN! Not as nice and smiley as this picture!!!

they wear overalls and in my mind its so they can run faster while they chase you and beat you up nice and proper....my wild imagination actually paints this scene in my head! Poor thing...my head that is...so back on track...this car was pulled over, I watched this poor man pull out every single bit of identification he had in his wallet....drivers license, i.d, library card, video library card...ok, not all those but dude he pulled out many things! And I bet he didnt do anything big...but he was still in trouble...hihi! And there I was on my good old bicycle...I roll a mountain bike yo!! I don't have fuel costs, insurance costs, oil, car wash and all those other costs! All I have to do is put some air in my tires like once a year, buy me some band aids for the occasions that I fall off the blasted thing, maybe and this is a big maybe get a puncture repair kit, but I still havn't had a puncture in over a year! So it's the greatest thing ever! Oh and it's great exercise!! So this is dedicated to my bicycle...without whom i would have a hard time getting round...

2006-10-24T08:49:00.000+02:00

Blonde moment here...Uhm,....how come a gazillion of my posts are coming up on the aggregator? is this like a new thing that I don't know about? Not that I'm complaining or anything, I was just like whoa!!! Is this Kipepeo day and I don't know bout it? hihi

2006-10-23T21:01:00.000+02:00

random strangeness how me....kenyan, african, was asked to help raise money for poor children in Finland. First of all, I don't think poor children exist in Finland...well...their idea of "poor" is slightly warped!! I don't know but the whole thing is just really strange...african girl raising money for finnish poverty...huh??

random post ever!!!!

2006-10-20T16:46:00.000+02:00

For reasons not known to me, my internet isn’t working!!! Totally sucks, so I shall post this when it decides to stop throwing tantrums and work again. Winter is looming and right now it’s started that below zero temperature nonsense!!!! Sniff sniff! All you people in Kenya cursing the heat and dust….please send some over? DHL, TNT, txt, whatever is faster!! I’ll even take the dust! Yes I am in dire need of some natural heat. In other news, insomnia has struck yet again! After agonising over sleep, it finally comes to me at….oh say 3a.m!! If only I could put in as much effort into my boring assignments as I do into wooing sleep. So I watch all the TV shop’s latest products, fridges, hair brushes, “the magic bullet”….get your minds out of that gutter…its some food processor…”chops onions in just seconds!!”…said in that sing song voice that seems to do all TV shop thingy bobs. But on the good side, in my attempt to fall asleep, after TV shop has bored me till I can’t blink anymore, I switch off everything and lie there in the dark and think. So I’ve had a lot to think about. For example, I don’t think I want to go to Ireland anymore, they changed their courses and the new ones are oh so boring!!! So I was thinking bout Sweden! Nomad that I am. Then I decided I’m really bad at keeping in touch and I shall put more effort into that. Like my mother says, “never burn bridges behind you”! I was contemplating cutting my hair….like cutting it really short. Then came to the realisation that I may not have the perfect head shape for that, so I think I shall keep my mop of hair with me for a while longer. And when I finally have children, they shall not be ignorant!!! Over my dead body! I don’t care how boring they think it is, but they shall be frog marched to museums, they shall be well read and they shall be able to contribute in conversations bout general worldly matters. Ahem…much like myself….nah just kidding…well, at least I can hold my own in a conversation. When you hear someone speak and just wonder “why?”! Those shall not be my children! Lol, look at me going on about “my children”!!! I need to sort my life out first. Random point here….last night after being harassed out of my nice warm bed to go to yet another student party, I got a lush hand massage. So there I was, amongst student chaos, loud music and people attempting to do the impossible - dance!!! There I was in my own bliss, getting a hand massage! Lush! Bless the soul who gave me that little piece of heaven.

On my music list for the week….
India.Arie (I remembered the dot between her names!!)….wings of forgiveness and heart of the matter off the last album she did….
Beyonce…irreplaceable…again off her last album B’day…”to the left to the left…”…my favourite bit
Jamelia’s version of numb…totally loving this version
Jojo…too little too late
And off course….losing my way off Justin’s future sex/love songs album

No prizes to guess what’s on my mind! All’s well that ends well and if its not well, ….well then its not the end….
-words from my super wise mother!!!

help!!!!!

2006-10-19T01:08:00.000+02:00

I'm back with the usual color...that blue really wasn't me....so I changed back....now hmmm....slight problemo that I don't remember happening the last time....all my links are a dissappeared!!!!! and I have no clue how to get them back!!! sniff sniff!!! help anyone?

2006-10-16T12:44:00.000+02:00

Swahili Nation - Sorry

What happened to these guys...? I quite like this song.

On another note....just watched this and its hard to believe that it is the same country as this paradise...my country...land of dire contradictions!

2006-10-15T10:07:00.000+02:00

Random how last night in a club in my little village in Finland, a random Finnish dude with no kenyan affiliations was wearing a kenyan t-shirt. I just had to stop him. He didn't really know much bout what he was wearing, he just liked it....How cool is that?

2006-10-12T02:14:00.000+02:00

There is a really thin line between black and white or people of color and white people joking about color issues and racist comments...I just had an encounter and as much as I know I should take it as a joke, it came a little too close to being racist and I'm not too sure how to deal with such situations, if the people then go on to "make me feel better" by saying that I am actually white, but I just put on make up on the morning to look brown...(brown because I'm mixed race!!!) Hmmm!!! Cue laughter from them and me looking at them with an expression of....uhm, how do you expect me to react to that? Too much drama bahama for my world!

2006-10-04T21:28:00.000+02:00

It feels like I just write in my blog when things have gone slightly or drastically warped in my life. Today has been an interestingly bad day. I hate this country, its stupid weather and the fact that I'm a student and have to live with people who think things in strange ways. I just don't understand them and i don't want to understand them and it just irkes me!! So it's like me thinking what the hell are they on about as they continue to go off in what sounds like something between mars-ish and pluto-ish. Sometimes I'd rather be a rock and just be there with no apparent emotion...apparent coz who am I to conclude that rocks have no emotion. Maybe they do and they just sit there thinking people like me have a sorry, sad life! Running around getting stressed and they just sit there watching the world go by. What bliss!! But instead this is me. In all my simplicity and complexity....a simple kinda complex. A thousand and one things going on in my head, sitting in my yellow duvet, in my room with yellow curtains, bottles and potions staring at me, and me thinking I'm going to make a difference in this world if it kills me....well I think it will kill me at this pace. But hey...!!

I miss people that I wish were normal,
don't know if I miss others.
My heart's a jumble of emotions
and I just want to cry.
If only I knew what exactly the crying was for,
or for whom,
so I don't.
Instead I go around with this big bubbly smile
as if its all hunky dorry
well it's not
it's far from
I just want ....
I don't even know what I want
but I want it
maybe it'll make the empty flutters go away
maybe it'll make me feel whole
like there's nothing missing
just like I did when I was 9
when all that mattered was hopscotch
and getting my tongue red from red devils
maybe it'll bring back the innocence
but its not that easy is it

But this makes me feel a tad bit better

I'm baaaaaaack

2006-09-13T09:15:00.000+02:00

I’m back in Finland. It’s kinda strange and a little hard to get back into the whole routine…rural life, school. But it’s a nice sort of familiarity nonetheless. People have left, new faces all over, some old ones that have been good to see again. It’s nice to have my own room again, with my own personal space for all my solo dance fests on random Sunday mornings. I’ve already got a whole load of work….and it’s only the first week….what happened to taking things slow in the beginning? Anyway, it has to be done. Ooooh I did my virgin eye brows at last….I kinda like the look….my raised eye brow look looks a whole lot better with all that extra spazz in it. Now the thing is maintenance, me, tweezers and eye brows!!!....we all don’t know what to do with each other…we sort of just stand there with the mirror in our midst wondering what to do and how to do it. Lol, its going to be interesting. Well, one good thing about being back is that I shall loose all the WEIGHT (yes in caps coz it’s a whole lot of weight) that I put on as a result of eating whatever takes my fancy…and as I realised, my fancy goes along the lines of fizzy mix, crisps and all other things that are generally not good for you and practically swimming in calories or fat! But no more of that!! Back to walking everywhere, eating healthy and drinking loads of water! If its one thing I’m grateful for in this little village is my ability to keep healthy. I feel a whole lot calmer and rested after my super summer. I will however miss boots and superdrug desperately!! They have got to be my all time favourite stores in the whole wide world!!! Oh well! Sniff sniff! So all you good people who are still on your summer breaks….enjoy it for me. Those who didn’t get a summer break, I’m back with you now! Flutter kisses all round!!
Then this, when you hear someone’s familiar voice and even through all the ish you’ve been through, you still laugh coz they are just funny and they just can’t help but be that way. You wish them well and wonder if what they say is really true, you’d like to believe it but you know they are probably just words and from experience, its not a good idea to get hooked onto those words because later down the road, you realise exactly that…they were just words, nothing more, empty as empty could be with no meaning at all and here you were thinking otherwise and putting your emotions into something that was an empty vacuum and all your deep and thoughtful emotions are met with a look of…huh? What on earth are you on about? Thus leaving you doubting your sanity, who you are and who you thought you were! Suddenly you’re not this miss independent anymore who was true to herself and could stand up against anything! You become this fragile, tearful, weak, poor excuse for yourself and it seems like forever to get back to who you were. So when words are spoken, you just don’t believe them. It’s a defence mechanism. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!!

of karma

2006-08-26T01:26:00.000+02:00

One more week to go!!! mixed feelings....don't know if I want to go or I wish my summer was a bit longer...! Tough one. It's been a blast! Met some brilliant people and bonded with some even cooler ones that I've known. But back to business and school and drama and issues of that country with people I just don't understand what they want from me and wish they would just leave me alone, but they don't and keep coming back and I don't know how to just tell them to *$£* off and leave my emotions be because somehow I don't want them to *&%* off, I just want them to be the nice person they were before, but the world doesn't work like that does it, and nobody ever said life was going to be fair. And hey karma right? So if I'm a good person, then all those bad bad people out there will get theirs back to them right? So it's all taken care of by higher forces, coz I get worried when I start watching the song "smile" and I want to do what she does in the video i.e get someone beaten up, put laxatives in people's coffee....then I stop myself and think...kipi baby, "karma". It's a beautiful thing for all those toe thinking creatures.
This has been a rambling, winding post, but it makes perfect sense to me!! Have a lush weekend all!!!!

I think....!?

2006-08-16T22:14:00.000+02:00

I think I got it....my thesis topic....!! Ready?...drumroll....my brilliant idea that I am excited about right now is....sustainable tourism and its economic effects on kenya both positive and negative... Well obviously I havn't refined the wording yet, but I guess you get the general idea of things. I needed something that ties my first degree to what I want to master in, and this seems like its it. So now down to see my professors once I'm back in school and start my research and things. Wish me luck. I desperately need it. Other than that, my summer is drawing to an end....not really looking forward to going back to classes and all that, but hey, such is life I guess, so bring it on!! 2 and a half weeks left here and then I fly back to Finland where I'm supposed to be!!

2006-08-05T12:15:00.000+02:00

I've written countless blog entries, but somehow I just don't feel them when I get to what I think should be the end and end up deleting all of them....blog mojo is a-disappearing!!!

2006-07-31T23:29:00.000+02:00

Goodness!! I just do not understand men!!! Just when I think I'm getting to the oint of figuring them out, BAM!!! They go and do something totally out there!

ME!

2006-07-12T18:58:00.000+02:00

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WARNING

kipepeo is radioactive. Wear protective clothing at all times.

From Go-Quiz.com

Haha....That was funny! Didn't really know I was radioactive! LOL! Anyway, I finally got myself a copy of the alchemist by Paulo Coelho! Amazing, Brilliant, Lush book. I'm loving it! It's such a shame it's not any longer. I'm coming close to the end and I don't want to. It should be the handbook of life. It's about a lot of things but what has been repeated repeatedly is this...."When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dreams."... That phrase is beautiful in it's simplicity. It just feels like the book was written for me to read at this particular time in my life. I've finally found a peace with myself and my life. I'm not as anal and worried about what the future holds anymore. There isn't very much I can do to change it. It's been written already and the best I can do is be the best I can be and LIVE! Today was a gorgeous day and I got into my little skirt and little top, got my 50SPF sunscreen, my sunglasses, my music, my book and went out to soak up the sun on what we call the "green beach". It was glorious. I lay there alone for like three hours...Just me, the birds, the sun, paulo and his great writing and matisyahu singing in my ears. I thought bout everything and everyone. Bout me and what's been going on with me and my world. I decided I liked being me. I have more than I could have asked for. I'm healthy, in charge of my life...Well most of the time, and well most of all, I'm happy. It's a true happiness that doesn't need anybody in it's recipe. I am the sole ingredient of my happiness at this point and frankly I love it! I don't really care what people think, I wear my hair like I want to, I dress like I want to, listen to the music I want to and I am more than content. I've got the privilege of experiencing all these new and exciting things and its great. Anyway, enough for now, i leave you with more of Paulo's great words....

..."The dunes are changed by the wind, but the desert never changes. That's the way it will be with our love for each other..."

-Paulo Coelho

VICTORY!!!!!!!!

2006-07-10T01:24:00.000+02:00

Oh yeeeeeeeeeeessss!!!! VICTORY!!! The cup is going home!! hehe!! We won! We won! We won!! Well....I can't say that it was toooo much of a suprise....ahem...(modest tone in my voice)....we clearly are the very best!! Hehe!! Woooooooooohhhhooooooooooooooo!!!!

2006-07-04T23:44:00.000+02:00

We did it!!! A great great game!! We styled up!! We are back and on a roll!!!

2006-07-04T17:12:00.000+02:00

I finally did it. After years of going into tattoo parlours just to look at the designs and asking everyone I know who has a tattoo whether it was painful and what exactly it felt like and how long it took, I did it!!! Kipepeo got herself a kipepeo tattoo. It's a tiny little one on my side, but I like it. Still can't believe I actually did it though! Still hasn't registered. It wasn't as painful as I thought actually. It also helped that my pal M was there to hold my hand through it all. She was braver than me and actually watched the whole thing. i couldn't for the life of me watch a needle do that to me. Anyway, I might post pics, if I feel the urge to. hehe!! Other than that, I'm enjoying the summer. It's great meeting up with pals I havn't seen in ages and more! Went for an RnB night sunday which was great. Good good music. Other than that, like other bloggers, I'm suffering from bloggers block. Just don't feel the urge to write anymore. But I shall be back! dadadaduuum (suspense music)...

2006-06-24T04:16:00.000+02:00

oh my. insomnia is a bad thing coupled with txts from people at this time (3.15am....yes I am still awake...don't know why!!!) that you least expected (many unexpected things happening this month) that make you go hm! and smile!

2006-06-24T04:05:00.000+02:00

Do we all have a "the one"? You know that person that you will always think of? You guys know what I'm talking about right? So do we? Is it true that if you really love something and you let it go, if it was meant to be yours then it will come back to you? How many times of coming back does it take to realise it was meant to be?

Nameless rocks and so does kenyamoto

2006-06-21T04:02:00.000+02:00

My oh my!! Yes!! Nameless rocks!! Just watched the video of sinzia on the bestest website kenyamoto.com....damn!!! that man!!! The cheesiest lines you will ever hear yet he manages to make you dance to them....now that right there ladies and gentlemen, is talent!! Apart from that, kenyamoto has some really great mixes, so do yourself a favour especially if you're out of kenya and click that way....I shall leave you with a nameless special....

....comit a crime and I'll be your defender, overpower me so that I surrender, oooh I wish I could be your saliva so that I could taste your lips...whenever...

ai papi!!

2006-06-20T23:54:00.000+02:00

In a strange turn of events, he called. The last person that I ever thought would call to wish me happy birthday. Given it was a bit late, but he did call. I havn't spoken to him in a long long while...havnt seen him in even longer. I didn't even know who it was for the first few seconds and then I realised who it was and I don't know....wow I guess. It was just really odd. We havn't spoken in ages but it didn't feel like it. I don't know it was just weird in an interesting way. Oh well.

tagged!!!!!

2006-06-19T01:35:00.000+02:00

Okidoki...so this clever one tagged me....

Rules:

1. Post six weird facts/habits about yourself.
2. These cannot be used against you later on.
3. At the bottom name the six people you will tag next. Leave them a comment to let them know they’ve been tagged and to read your blog.

So here we go....and note you guys cannot use these against me...

1. I talk to myself...before you go all out saying I'm crazy!!....its normal! Just as long as you don't reply to yourself...and I don't. I like to call it thinking aloud.

2. I have to sleep with one of my legs out of the covers and one in. I am convinced it has something to do with me being a gemini so ...... I don't know.... balance of things, best of both worlds as I was told...something to that effect. But try it....very very nice.

3. I am a serial toilet paper changer.... I HAVE to see toilet roll rolling the right way. What is the right way you may ask? It has to roll out like a waterfall...i.e top to bottom. I change it everywhere and anywhere I go if it is any other way...its just one of those things that irks me!

4. I used to be a collector of lipbalms, keyrings and erasers....I have no idea why....its just something I liked to do.

5. I sometimes go out without combing my hair... put it down to the wild look...truth be told I couldn't care less sometimes to comb my hair. Well as long as it looks ok I guess.

6. My dream car is one of those green big old type land rovers....you know the one with the big black pipe thing running along it and up near the window...yeah!! Those are the hottest things ever...forget your mercs, I don't know ferrari's etc....that car is the reall deal!!

Ok so who shall I tag? hahahahaaa....evil laughter.... Bankelele, shiroh, Haidhuru, miss k, acolyte

hate something, change something

2006-06-17T02:38:00.000+02:00

oh!!! My all time favorite song is on the honda advert. Actually, its not just the song but the whole advert!! It's here... on the bottom right of the little screen there is "see the film sing the song". Click on that to do either sing along or see the whole advert and you shall understand why I am soooo in love with this nifty ad! If you are in the U.K, you probably know it. I love it love it love it. Pole Nickyboo...dont know if it'll show for you, I could try mail it to you... Oh had a great birthday by the way. Lots of people who I havn't spoken to in ages called and left me feeling all tingly! Hope you all have a superb weekend!! I don't really watch football by the way, but oh my argentina against serbia...(was it?) My oh my the goals!!! Wow!!!

sniff sniff...

2006-06-14T20:26:00.000+02:00

Yes yes, I know, I have not written in a while...blog block people. But before you all go going out against me.....Its someone's birthday tomorrow...yes yes!! I, Kipepeo am getting old!! So thanks to someone special who got me in the habit, I shall take stock of my life to this point, figure out if its where I want to be, wwhat more I need to be doing, etc, but that shall come after partying up tomorrow...So have a tiramisu on me everyone...kipepeo kisses all round

long long rant.

2006-05-28T12:48:00.001+02:00

I met someone I haven't seen in a minute.....a really really long time!! Not like I used to talk to them...they were just someone that I knew...loose hi when I saw them, but that's about it as far as communication between us. But I've talked to them twice now in the span of a week. One, I just cannot believe this person talks so much so the first like half hour, I just stared in awe that words were actually coming out of them. Then we got talking and wow. It's a shame we didn't talk more before. Talk about hilarious! So it's been fun. On to other things...my parents think I'm a nomad! LOL! The other day, I didn't reply one of my moms txts and she was all freaked calling to see if I got her text, if so, why I hadn't replied and if I'm ok, etc...she needs to relax a tad bit yo...(I'm still working my yo word!). Then on to even more things! Sometimes I miss things as they were, but I know that it shall never be! If I'm in a relationship, I just can't decide that I'm going to be doing things on my own terms! It's a two way thing. Of which I was reminded again by a really good friend who kicks reality into me even when I don't want to hear it and am throwing tantrums because I don't want to hear it! Anyway, back to what I was rambling on about... So I just don't know. You know when you're doing laps in the pool and you're out there, thrashing it out. At first it feels good, you can feel your muscles work and you know you're doing a world of good to your body, besides it just feels good to feel the water engulf your entirety. Then if you are like me and totally out of practice, after lap 5 you begin to feel tired, breathing just isn't that easy any more and your arms feel increasingly heavier with each stroke. You just need to stop. The water is creasing your toes and your fingers and you just want to get out of the water. That's what it feels like. I just couldn't anymore. I'm not asking anyone to beg or apologize for anything. I never have, never will. Never have I asked anyone to change for me. I really try not to judge and that involves acknowledging that there are people that are way different from me. But that's just how it is, why would I then want to change someone? It really hurts when all these things are thrown at me. I should know better and just ignore it, but I can't. When someone was such a big part of you for so long to then say certain things... I don't know what to think anymore. Suddenly even what was feels foggy! I was telling my friend yesterday that I have lost any faith I ever had in love and he went out at me saying that I shouldn't do that and I should be willing to let it happen and not be pessimistic in the way that I am. How can I do that when it always ends up in tears. It's not love, its just tolerance!! Thats it. Anyway, I know this is going to raise many..."you're wrong, there really is love, you shouldn't be so negative, don't let a few things ruin it for you...etc" But right now, that's just how I feel. I'm struggling with lots of emotions that I'm really trying to ignore but it's proving hard to do so with each day. I have good durations where for some weeks I'm fine and then I hear from someone, remember something, look at a picture, read something and it just comes washing over me, then I go back to burying it and trying to believe that it doesn't exist. It never did. At least I get by that way. Anyway, I need to stop this long rant. It probably makes absolutely no sense to people, but I feel a bit better!

2006-05-23T14:59:00.000+02:00

Finally in the UK....my first week was quite an adventure!! Anyway, I guess I shall have stories to tell my kids. I usually really worry about my future, I've been accused of being obsessed with it...however, sometimes I go through random acts of madness....much like this whole uk thing, much like me going to Finland. I still don't have a definate plan of things, its really worried me, but somehow I kinda know that it shall be ok....(I guess I have to keep telling myself that). I met some old friends whom I havn't seen in a long long while...its been great! But now I need a job and a house to stay in so I can save up for all my expensive plans for the rest of the year and next!!! The things that I do...just when I'm in the thick of things I can't help but wonder what the hell it is that I'm trying!

2006-05-12T13:11:00.000+02:00

Next time I post it will be from the uk....my train to the airport leaves at 4:30....so here is to having a good summer....have a great time all of you yummy bloggers!!

this is me...suprise suprise!!

2006-05-10T19:29:00.000+02:00

You Are Apple Green

You are almost super-humanly upbeat. You have a very positive energy that surrounds you.
And while you are happy go lucky, you're also charmingly assertive.
You get what you want, even if you have to persuade those against you to see things your way.
Reflective and thoughtful, you know yourself well - and you know that you want out of life.

What Color Green Are You?

Egypt

2006-05-10T09:32:00.000+02:00

Egypt is the home of cleopatra of whom I have had a never ending fasination to the point for a while I believed I had to have been egyptian in my past life...
Egypt has five thousand years of culture and is the oldest civilisation in the world! That in itself is simply fascinating. But back to Cleopatra. She became queen of Egypt at the tender age of 17 or 18...at that age I could barely finish my homework let alone rule a whole empire as big as Egypt ! Despite what people think of her now, she wasn't as pretty as that. She is known to have had very masculine features with a not so feminine hooked nose to go with the whole look. But she did have charisma... and that is what made her who she was. She had a very elaborate and seductive way of dress and more than her clothes, she oozed sensuality. At the time of Cleopatra's rule, Egypt was a land full of wealth, culture and it just had a special air to it...well at least to me. Cleopatra was Egypt's last pharoah and after her rule, Egypt became a Roman province....From such a fascinating history...fast forward to present day Egypt where the government of Egypt has detained 10 people...among them is Egyptian blogger Alaa Abdel Fatah...So I stand in solidarity with other bloggers all over the world and the idea is this...
to link the word Egypt back to the free Alaa! site.

“The hope is that the number of links will eventually mean someone entering the term Egypt in a search engine will arrive at the Free Alaa! site rather than a tourism brochure or something similar. It’s a way of publicising both Alaa’s detention and that of the more than 40 others held after peaceful protests”.

Rachel Rawlins, Global Voices.

Thanks to Mshairi, Keguro, mutumia and Mental who are doing the same...hope this makes even the slightest of differences...

free Alaa!

...this...

2006-05-08T13:00:00.000+02:00

How many times of falling will it take me to learn? Why can't I just stop? What is this streak of weakness in me that leaves me feeling like I need, need need someone else to put a smile on my face? I can do that all by myself and even spread that smile. So why do I constantly seek this sense of belonging from others, of wanting to be someone's. Can't I just drop all this, like when you cut off your hair. That feeling of it falling off...I want that.

so long and farewell

2006-05-08T09:04:00.000+02:00

so long farewell....na na na na na naaaa!! thats me singing the so long farewell song from sound of music. Remember at the ball when the children say goodnight...I've got 4 nights left in Finland...then I'm off to the uk for the summer. I need a break from this place. So no more sauna, no more strange people, no more finnish language in my ears, no more potatoes nope for three and a half months, none of that! hehe!! I shall however terribly miss all my friends and drunk sauna parties...as was held on Friday!!! Which then led us to go cycling drunk to the bothnic bay and go swimming...(sidenote...these people have no idea what a normal sea feels like...that sea was freeezing!!!!) Anyway, had a lush weekend full of good times and lots of food...nice way to end finland for the short time i shall be away...Hmm...i do have a gazillion exams between now and friday though!! But before I know it, I shall be done and on that ryan air flight...oh what it is to be young and no strings attached!! Random thought...I'm in the process of learning to let go of things and situations that seem to be stuck to my mind with some gooey glue!

bloody cold....lol (ignore the cheap laughing effects)

2006-05-04T13:27:00.000+02:00

I miss home!!

2006-05-04T11:42:00.000+02:00

I miss kenyan radio. I miss all the crazy adverts, I miss waking up to capital and falling asleep to capital. Listening to radio on the way to school and on the way home from school, just basically all the time. Today as I was doing a boooooring book review, I was listening to Kenyan radio and oh the wave of home sickness that came over me. See when you first leave home, everything is all so exciting and new, then you hit a wall where you cry, you're homesick, nothing is the same and you just need something familiar to make you feel better, like seeing blueband on the shelves at the supermarket, passing by a kiosk, something, anything... Then after that, you kinda get numb and just get on with what you need to do and then you gradually get into things and hey presto! It isn't too bad! One time you catch yourself smiling. You actually find yourself having a good time and everything is liveable, workable. But sometimes, I get a bout of homesickness. Coming home to homecooked meals everyday, a fruit basket always full of yummy fruit, the way my mum insists on a specific way of folding and storing away clothes and house linen. Sitting on the veranda on a Saturday morning with a glass of juice talking to my mum as she drinks her tea with the sun in our eyes and kiko my dog at my feet. Going to sarit centre and meeting the whole world. Going veggie shopping with mum to the market and talking to the tomato lady, the potato man, the dude who does sugar cane, the old lady who sells beans...basically all those lush people who make veggie shopping such a glorious and colorful experience. I miss bbq's on the lawn. I miss getting ready to go out with all my girlfriends and having a great night full of laughter and dancing. I miss the nonchalantness of kenyans, their smiles in the midst of dust, potholes, bad governance, poverty, insecurity....they still manage to put a smile on their face and a spring in their step and somehow, I still don't know how, they get by. I miss the noise, from matatus blaring music, people singing, laughing, shouting across the road, random kikuyu gospel songs blaring from a kiosk, wycliff the watchman and his little transistor radio covered in crotchet mini radio blanket, shopping at maasai market or just window shopping....i mean stall shopping at the maasai market, I miss going for lemonade at dormans, buying flowers from the florists under the tree in westland...(who are no longer there sniff sniff), the sun, the sun, the sun, did I mention the sun? My family and all the family gossip. The ride home under all the blue gum tree's. October when all the purple flowers come up - agapanthas, jacarandas, for some reason all the purple flowers come out in october! The silence apart from birds chirping and kiko galavanting around the house on a morning when nobody's home...you know those days you were home sick from school. Watching tv under a duvet in the night then racing my brother to bed to get out of putting the sitting room lights off. Hmmmm....I miss home and I had better stop here before I break out in tears and not finish this boring book report!!

2006-04-27T12:42:00.000+02:00

waa waa! blogger is crazy. I had one post which i decided to split into two seeing as they were different enough to have as two posts, so when I went back to edit it, one of them dissappears!! Brilliant!! Absolutely brilliant!! They must be working in collaboration with my government....basic trend of stealing everything and anything from the public including posts!!!! I cannot find it and I'm tired of typing!!

hm!

2006-04-27T11:32:00.000+02:00

Economics exam - done
Dreaded visit to the gyno - done
kipepeo getting gradually better - done

And thus, my weekend begins! Yes, my weekend. Me, poor jobless Kenyan student who's government could not care less if she fell off the face of the earth. They can't even go phew, one less person to take care of....BECAUSE THEY NEVER HAVE!!!! Dang! I didn't even get that free Moi milk or whatever, never had any government doctor do anything for me, I have a sneaky feeling I shall not be receiving any pension in my lifetime from them. Yet, they go ahead and do this!!! How can they possibly arm-twist the government of a Nation that is faced with drought, looking to get donor funding and aid, all sorts of evils and then they go and do that? Have they no soul? A little dignity anyone? Its crazy!! I don't even know what to think of them. kritik
puts it best when he says... thieves!! thieves!!! thieves!!!! wezi hawa!! bure kabisa, pumbavu!! mavi ya kuku!!! hawa wezi!!! shindwe pepo mbaya!!!

Aaaaahh!! I could punch someone! Honestly, they are the most vile creatures walking the face of this earth!!

They are crazy!! No, scratch that, crazy is a major understatement!! Where the hell did they come from and what do they think with? Their toes??? I am so livid, I could do the crazy dance...rip off clothes, do back flips, scream and froth at the mouth!!

2006-04-27T10:27:00.000+02:00

"I was very much imprest when i read your profile, and i hereby request from you for any kind of relationship. and please am very sorry for any inconvience this message may cause. "

I got this on my hi5 messages! Recently I've been getting a collection of strange messages to my hi5. But this one takes the cake!! Firsty, spelling..."imprest"???? What is that? then the rest is toooo hillarious!!! humans are strange characters! lol

kikoi weekend!

2006-04-26T12:05:00.000+02:00

I love my culture, I love my people and one place to experience the two is at the maasai market...whichever one you may choose to go to. Be it at the village market, the good old tuesday market in town, these days they are all over the place. I'm proud to say that Kenyans are getting ever so creative and every time I go back home, I marvel at the new designs they come up with. Chic meets africa! And I just love it!!! The colours, the textures, everything is amazing. My all time favorite is the kikoi. You can do so many things with it. It's great as a scarf, headwrap (still looking for someone to tell me how to wrap one!!), as a body wrap. It's just an excellent piece of art to have. Men wrapped in a kikoi is sex on legs!! Everytime I wear my kikoi, I feel a little bit closer to home! The vibrant colours never cease to leave me in awe. So if you have one, this weekend is kikoi weekend...(so say I)!! Joing me and wear your kikoi in whichever way you please!! Bring them out!!!!

2006-04-25T14:06:00.000+02:00

I feel horrible. I didn't go to school today. My chest feels like its up in flames, every time I take a breath, it hurts. I went to the chemist to get something to make me feel better. I miss Nairobi where they would find something. Here they said they didn't know what to give me, so I should go to the doctor. I've got a gyno check up tomorrow, so she will have to prescribe something for me after she's done looking up my legs. For the first time ever, I was freezing in bed last night. You don't understand. I've got a thermal duvet which is usually the death of me because it is sooooooo hot under that thing. I'm constantly fighting with the darn thing. Last night, I actually had to put on a pair of socks. Shock!!! I've got an economics exam on thursday, a presentation tomorrow....gee!! I shall be one happy bunny once this week is done.

catch me if you can....and its gone!!!!

2006-04-24T11:09:00.000+02:00

just to tease you all.... kipepeo went 80's on Saturday night. This is her and two of her friends...80's night was great!! Wild wild hair, crazy clothes...it was fun!! I'll take this down in a bit, so catch me if you can!

If you snooze, you loose!!! It's gone!! hehe

congratulations are in order!

2006-04-24T08:57:00.000+02:00

Conrgratulations....mental, MJY, guess, miss k, thinker, milo, kenyan pundit, mawazo, mshairi, msanii, nickyboo and jikomboe....great job all you wonderful gorgeous, lush bloggers!!!

malaika...????!!!

2006-04-20T11:25:00.000+02:00

A friend of mine found the lyrics to "malaika" here and they are hillariously wrong!!! How did they manage to do this??? My favorite line is.... "nassin dwala mali sinawy"...made my day!!

2006-04-19T10:31:00.000+02:00

Ok, so I am on a mission to look for the song in the sex scene of the Thomas Crown affair...I love it....Just havn't had the time...nor remembered to google it...yeah, bet you're thinking..."yeah and you have the time to blog about it...??" Yes I am weird like that! But I really really love it. Ever had one of those phone calls, where you really question why that person picked up the phone, scrolled to your name and dialled? Purpose of it was.....???? Sometimes I just don't understand the human race.

Talking bout humans....I am really glad that Caroline Elkins won the pulitzer prize for her book. I havn't read it....probably because I can't get a copy let alone one in English in this back water village that I live in, but it is on the top of my reading list for summer. I have however heard lots of good reviews about it and what it talks about is one of my passions and interests. So big up to her (Caroline Elkins).

Thought of the day courtesy of Forbes...
"He who will not economize will have to agonize."
-Confucius

Have a good day won't you!! oh and remember to smile!!

2006-04-18T11:04:00.000+02:00

As much as I love my phone and the people it brings me closer to....I am seriously contemplating throwing the blasted thing out the flipping window as a result of pressure from people applied through this stupid little thing that beeps every two seconds with people demanding me to do stuff, react to stuff, reply to stuff, ask if i shall go do stuff! AAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!

Ponies and rainbows anybody?

random random random....edit!!

2006-04-14T14:03:00.000+02:00

I just wrote this looooooooooong raaaaaaaandom winding post on nothing in particular. I looked at it and decided not to post it, I may seem a tad bit.....looney!! Being reminded by people who I should be, got me thinking about who I am. People, even I think I'm a tad bit crazy, but don't i have to be to get by?? When I started this blog, I was easy like sunday morning, nobody knew about it, I didn't know all these other kenyan bloggers, so who cares what they think right? then as time went on, people got wind of it, by default it slipped out of me...its so hard to keep a secret these days!! Anyway, now some people in my real world know about my blog. For a while I'd think twice before I posted stuff, but then, what the heck. This is my space and I will say what i want, when I want. Tough on anyone else...they can get their own space...its free!! I don't use this to slander anyone, or anything like that, I just say what I feel like, when I feel like! Its great. I don't explain anything to anyone and thats the greatest thing about blogging for me...its a release!! Hmm although lateley I have been fresh out of inspiration!! Even though there is soooo much to write about, like:

- nepalese porters who are known to be the best porters in the world (they can carry their own weight on their backs and go galavanting across Nepal)
-The goings ons in Chad
-Italian elections and Berlusconi's ability to make me laugh my socks off by some of the things he says
-my ability to do cool stunts with my tongue...(get your minds out of the gutter!! not that way)
-my need to rediscover my big 'O'!!!
-hi5 and weird forums...(kenchic...for people who like kenchic!!???)
-my love for India and its culture despite me never setting foot on indian soil...YET!!!
-my love for raidiators in class....greatest thing since sliced bread!!
-the question of my room!! Why is it never ever tidy enough?? Can't it just remain neat??? Why do I always have to follow up on it?!!!
-my new ganga-sta word ''yo!''

So as you can see (the list is way longer, just didn't feel like typing it all out!), I have lots to write about, so maybe one of these days I shall get to it!!

This was a very random post on a good friday that doesn't feel like a good friday!
But none the less,
Have a lush easter everyone!!!

p.s....google adds are hillarious, the add they had with this post is for an orange energy rush drink!!! I love google!!

2006-04-11T16:25:00.000+02:00

May they rest in peace...

2006-04-11T13:10:00.000+02:00

Sometimes you lose yourself. Everything that meant something to you doesn't quite mean the same. All the vibrant colours that used to get you all giddy, suddenly seem dull and lifeless! I look at a bright pink on something in my room and now I can't help but think "hmm...its not as wow as it used to be". The little things that got me giddy, suddenly don't get me all giddy anymore. You know who you "should" be, you know what you "should" like, "should" do, but you just can't for some reason do those things anymore. It's life you're another person living in someone else's life and it's the weirdest feeling ever. But then there are these special people who remind you of who you should be. Yesterday, two very special people reminded me who I was, rather who I should be. Whether or not they knew how much of an impact that made on me is besides the point because today I woke up a bit better. I had a bit more of a spring in my step and my mouth was gravitating towards the usual smile that I wear. So here's to better days of me! The real me!

farfella....???! sp!!

2006-04-10T13:16:00.000+02:00

I love love love this song and a friend of mine (who cannot for the life of him spell farfalla!! But a darling none the less!) sent this to me this morning! So im having a good day!

Know it sounds funny
But I just can't stand the pain
Girl I'm leaving you tomorrow
Seems to me girl
You know I've done all I can
You see I begged, stole
And I borrowed
Ooh, that's why I'm easy
I'm easy like Sunday morning
That's why I'm easy
I'm easy like Sunday morning
Why in the world
Would anybody put chains on me?
I've paid my dues to make it
Everbody wants me to be
What they want me to be
I'm not happy when I try to fake it!
No!
Ooh,that's why I'm easy
I'm easy like Sunday morning
That's why I'm easy
I'm easy like Sunday morning
I wanna be high, so high
I wanna be free to know
The things I do are right
I wanna be free
Just me, babe!
That's why I'm easy
I'm easy like Sunday morning
That's why I'm easy
I'm easy like Sunday morning
Because I'm easy
Easy like Sunday morning
Because I'm easy
Easy like Sunday morning

2006-04-10T09:46:00.000+02:00

SATURDAY!!!!! oh saturday!!! The plan was :

- have dinner with friends
- watch the God's must be crazy with a few drinks and same friends
- go to some random party that was being held

Dinner was done, drinks were had...we kinda didn't make the movie nor the party! Reason being :

half a mug of vodka, a big scoop of ice cream and a splash of orange juice or blue sprite...yes we have blue sprite in Finland (limited edition y'all!)

This drink was made by a polish friend (note to self, poles didn't get their drinking reputation by default...there are reasons...this being one of them. Do not drink anything they make "drinkwise" again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I usually go from sober, to tipsy, to drunk.
This time I went from sober to DRUNK!!! I don't quite remember an in between!
It's not my fault, I didn't see her make it, it tasted so nice. Like milkshake!! hehe yeah right!!
This resulted in me telling people about how women don't need men when there are rabbits (platinum ones at that) on the market. Tres "oh my goodness did I really say that" moment once I was sober round about sunday evening!
All in all, it was a rather nice day!!!
People I think this place is the only place in the world where it's still snowing!!! What happened to spring??

Song of the day : sexy love (ne-you)...I am so loving his album!

2006-04-07T10:19:00.000+02:00

I feel really ickie...yeah that's the word. Ever had your heart broken? Twice over? Sometimes, just going about my business and I feel tears well up in my eyes. It's that coldness that overcomes you inside, a real cold that makes you feel sick to your stomach. I know I should be stronger than this. I know it too shall pass like everything else in life. Nothing lasts forever right? Well right now it burns. It stings. It's tearing me to pieces. I don't want to pretend I'm happy anymore. I don't want to try be all smiley. I don't want to pretend that I forgot about things, that they don't bother me anymore. They still do. I just force myself to try and not think about it, but its there and when I'm alone, not laughing with or talking to someone, it all comes rushing back. How can another human being just like me, made of flesh and bone make me feel like this?

2006-04-05T12:26:00.000+02:00

LOVES
Al love is born within love
grows larger in its belly
spreads into its space, inhabits it
desires permanence, lays claim to time
prevails, enjoys its superiority
and as soon as it is satisfied with its gains
another love is born in its belly
grows larger, spreads into its space
threatens to tear it to pieces.
But sometimes lovers stop
feeding on their adversaries’ flesh
and exchange stone likenesses
that remain unaltered within the surrounding decay
and coexist without pointless hostilities
more or less amicably, like the busts
of rival leaders in cemeteries.

....Titos Patrikios

2006-04-04T13:31:00.000+02:00

It's about drama, and love, and relationships
And when the going gets tough,
you deal with it
And you don't ever, you never, walk away from it
You hold on, you be strong
It's about drama, and trust, and making it
If your somebody, mess up, you take it in
Don't let nobody come between you,
you just stay with it
You hold on, you be strong
Hold on

This is the chorus of a babyface song drama, love and relationships. I was listening to it as I walked to school this morning. It so easy to say. It used to be what I did. I don't know why I can't anymore. it's not setting it like I thought it would. It's a funny sort of calm. Like I don't know how I should be feeling. This is going to be the start of a long and girly ranting blog series...so the likes of acolyte, etc...beware!! Don't say I didnt warn you.

2006-04-03T13:28:00.000+02:00

I think it's over.

It's been long. He was so much a part of me. I'm not too sure how to deal with this. But I think we've come to the end of the road. We're constantly fighting. Nothing we do seems right to the other. It's hard. I'm in this state of limbo. I don't know how to let go and I don't know how to hold on. Either way it hurts. But I am tired of the fighting. I just don't have the energy anymore - mentally or emotionally. It's way too draining. I know it's going to take an eternity to get over. I know it will hurt, it will burn, it will tear me up.

2006-03-30T09:45:00.000+02:00

For the longest time I have been trying to master the art of the African headwrap and I just cannot for the life of me get it right!!! I really want to though!! It's so frustrating!!

2006-03-30T08:41:00.000+02:00

Toast to me!!! I am over the moon!!! I got picked (note there was only one place) to go to Ireland for my exhange programme next spring semester!!! I am soooo soooo happy...I finally get to go to the home of the river dance!!! I've been waiting for something amazing to happen, but this is lush!!!!! ooooh ooooh ooooh!!!

2006-03-28T10:53:00.000+02:00

"king without a crown" by matisyahu has been playing on repeat for like two days now! I love it love it love it!! I posted the lyrics sometime ago...I think in february or somthing....but people this song is lush!!! lusher than the body shop passion fruit shower gel!! Other than that some friends and I were talking about religion last night. I'm Anglican, two were roman catholic and one was greek orthodox. It was really interesting, but to cut a long story short, we all seemed to agree that the relationship between you and God is just that ... "a relationship between you and your God" you don't need the church, the pope, priests and all those things. What counts is the personal relationship you have with him. There has to be a higher being than you, that's why you inately know when you're doing wrong or right. You don't need the bible, or any other religious book to tell you. You just know in-se! So all in all, it was quite an insightful discussion.

2006-03-24T10:22:00.000+01:00

I may have sent this to some of you...I got it from a friend, but it's just a really nice read, so I figured I would share it with all of you...enjoy...

To be twenty something...

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." nothing is constant......except change. whats life without a few risks? keep playin the game!

2006-03-23T13:11:00.000+01:00

I'm sitting in the library...I know I should be working, but for some reason, I'm not! I havn't blogged about anything of much importance lately...not because of anything...just because I haven't. I've just sort of been getting on with things. School, assignments, papers, exams, presentations, parties...the usual student stuff. It's ok. I'm not complaining. I smile, I kick s**t with the student council, I have diner and a laugh with my friends, I breathe, I sleep, I function....yes that's it...I function. It's that simple. But it's become so routine. Wake up, shower, dress in a million and five clothes to protect myself from the evil cold, go to school, take off all the jackets, scarves, gloves, etc. Go to class, learn something, or maybe not and just doodle on paper, do presentations and exams, decide whether to go for lunch, go if I decide to, go back to class, get out, put on million and five clothes again, go home, dinner, sauna if it's a wednesday, watch tv and do assignments, sleep. My house mate and I were talking....humans are always in a state of crisis...quarter life crisis, mid life crisis, there's always some sort of crisis going on! hm...this is a very random post, even I don't know what the hell to think of it...

2006-03-23T12:13:00.000+01:00

Attack of SMENITA!!!! What on earth is happening? I can't comment on blogs coz of this whole "SMENITA" stuff!!! what is going on??? AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH

2006-03-20T12:52:00.000+01:00

oh my!!! After my conflict with the student union on friday and saturday, I got home at like 6.30pm saturday, had dinner with friends and went out to party. I went for salsa classes for like a year in Kenya, before the whole salsa craze started, and I just love it. However, it is kinda hard to be in a place where salsa music is going on and someone can actually salsa....I'm young, its mostly hip hop etc. But saturday night!!! oooh saturday night!! It was the birthday of an italian volunteer and she had all her international volunteer friends from all over Finland for the party. Among them was this hyper short-ish dude from Poland. He asked to dance and I agreed!! Dude can salsa like a nonsense....I was so swept off my feet!! It's been a long time since I danced salsa...we danced for like 1.5 hours and it was great. The type of dance that has your heart beating and you actually break a sweat! It was great! Here's to good times!!

2006-03-18T09:43:00.000+01:00

Oh my goodness! I am so angry with this whole set up, I could scream!!!! See I am in a university in Finland. It has departments and units in different places in this region. So I signed up to be a sudent tutor. To be specific an international student tutor. My problem is yes the international students here are the minority, but for goodness sake, they could have some sort of something for us. Anything. A notice poster gets puts up with the catch phrase in english and then all the info in finnish!! I mean honestly? So I signed up, just so theat there is a voice that is heard, some sort of representation! So as part of the tutor training, there are some activities that we should take part in. Like drama assignments that you learn from. BUT!!!! they do them in finnish. Most of the students here speak english, there are 5 international students here, but its as if we don't exist. Taken that its one thing if all the international students just let it slide, you can say we didnt try. But I am here. Not only am I here, but I volunteered for one of the drama excercises! Surprise surprise, they very nicely said in english..."sorry, I would much rather someone who spoke finnish...maybe next time"!!! There are two types of tutors. International student tutors and just the normal finnish student tutors. International student tutors deal with the international students....for f**ks sake are they going to deal with them in finnish? A language that only 5million people speak in this world? I dont think so!!! Isn't that part of being a tutor, dealing with challenges and finding a way around them that makes everyone feel less uncomfortable? So I walked out. Hopefully they will notice something. I know I should learn the language, but things like this make me not want to just be defiant! Everybody says how finns are shy and its hard fro them to reach out and make friends, etc etc,but honestly! You try and they just retreat into their groups and speak in their own language even if they do speak english!!! I am going to write one nasty complaint letter to whoever is in charge. They probably won't do anything about it....probably coz it won't be in finnish. But I will have tried!!! Oh the nerve!!!

2006-03-17T16:05:00.000+01:00

haha!!! They are going to kick me out of this uni!! guess who is kicking shit with the student union???????

2006-03-16T12:02:00.000+01:00

Last night I watched a very touching documentary on Rwanda. It was centred on Romeo Dallaire's period spent in the country and followed him as he went back, ten years after the massacre....from an extract I found...

"Dallaire who, as the former head of the U.N. Peacekeeping Force witnessed unspeakable horrors in Rwanda, as extremist Hutus massacred over 800,000 Tutsis and Hutus in the space of a few days in 1994. General Romeo Dallaire did everything he could, pleading for 2000 more peacekeepers to be added to his insufficiently equipped 3000 man force. If they had answered Gen. Dallaire's pleas, the U.N. could have stopped the slaughter of hundreds of thousands of Rwandans. instead, following the deaths of 10 Belgian Peacekeepers assigned to protect the President, his forces were cut down from 3000 to a mere 500 men, who had to watch as one of the most horrible genocides in human history took place before their very eyes. Gen. Romeo Dallaire, frustrated, and disheartened by the U.N.'s passive attitude, nonetheless stood for his beliefs, repeatedly confronting his superiors who did nothing to prevent the horrific events from unfolding.
In 2002, he was honored as the first recipient of the Aegis Trust Award.

Romeo Dallaire is now working on the problem of war-affected children, and has visited countries where children are used as soldiers or are being sold into sexual slavery."

More of his story here...http://www.thirdworldtraveler.com/Heroes/Gen_Romeo_Dallaire.html

If only the world listened to this man's pleas! So here is to him!

2006-03-14T09:59:00.000+01:00

In one of my classes today...a class of twenty people, the following countries were represented :

kenya
finland
china
mexico
poland
lithuania
sudan
australia
germany
spain
france

Amazing how we were all sitting together in one class!! The world truly is becoming a smaller place, but I'm loving the experience!

2006-03-14T08:38:00.000+01:00

my faith in certain things this year have been rocked to the core! Quarter life crisis y'all!!! I was talking to some friends the other day and it seems that everyone out of my blog life thinks, kipepeo is always happy, with a smile on her face...a bubble of energy as someone once called me. The said they had never seen me upset, sad or anything to do with that! Wow if only my life really were that!! My blog is one place I can lay myself bare. I can rant away, complain, bitch, do and say anything that I want because it's kipepeo saying all these things, not really me. I can hide behind that mask and lay myself bare. So thank you all you wonderful people for staying with me, encouraging me when I most need it and nobody but you all know it. It means a whole lot....butterfly kisses to all of you....

volunteers in Kenya

2006-03-10T10:54:00.000+01:00

I seem to have been reading a number of blogs of volunteers in Kenya. Given they are working in the rural areas of Kenya, but geez!!! Talk about generalising...here is one of them that is...interesting....if thats the right word...

http://www.geocities.com/aeyates/journal1.htm

"There's a decent variety of vegetables, although nothing really that good for you".....this being said about Kenya!!! Say what???

Anyway, read it for yourselves....

just a thought

2006-03-08T12:32:00.000+01:00

I found this on a friends journal on Hi5, so after I informed him that I was going to steal it, here it is....

Why you pick the wrong one!!!

#1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married. The classic mistake. Never marry potential. The golden rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after they're married... for the worst!" So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character,personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.

#2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning.Beware of the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love" often means, "I'm in lust." Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person's character? Here are four character traits to definitely check for: Humility:Does this person believe that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal comfort? Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give charity? Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he's going to do? Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable? Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child t! o turn out like him or her?

#3. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn't understand what a woman needs most. Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn't "get it." Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of a woman and to satisfy them. The unique need of a woman is to be loved-to feel that she is the most important person in her husband's life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention. Men are goal-oriented, especially when it comes this area. As a wise woman once pointed out, "Men have two speeds: on and off." Women are experience-oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things happen.

#4. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goals and priorities. There are three basic ways we connect with another person: 1. chemistry and compatibility 2. share common interests 3. share common life goal. Make sure you share the deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you're "living for," while you're single-and then find someone who has come to the same conclusion as you. This is the true definition of a "soul mate." A soul mate is a goal mate-two people who ultimately share the priorities, values and goals.

#5. You choose the wrong person because you get involved sexually too quickly. Sexual involvement before the commitment of marriage can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. Sexual involvement tends to cloud one's mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions. It is not necessary to take a "test drive" in order to find out if a couple is sexually compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don't have to worry about sexual compatibility. Of all the studies done on divorce, sexual incompatibility is never cited as a main reason why people divorce.

#6. You pick the wrong person because you do not have a deeper emotional connection with this person. To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: "Do I respect and admire this person?" This does not mean, "Am I impressed by this person?" We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. You should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc. Also ask: "Do I trust this person?" This also means, "Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?

#7. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don't feel emotionally safe. Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person? Does this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way? Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way! "... heart wrenching aint it!!!

Happy women's day!!

2006-03-08T08:36:00.000+01:00

Happy women's day everyone!!
...by the great Maya Angelou...

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

2006-03-07T14:19:00.000+01:00

I have had this forward sent to me a thousand and seven times, and I'm sure so has everyone else, but it always puts a smile on my face everytime I read it anew!...I just added some of my thoughts...

Think about them one at a time before going on to the next one...

1. Falling in love.....its a lush feeling
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts...especially about silly things
3. A hot shower...with yummy smelling shower gel like passion fruit from the body shop
4. No lines at the supermarket...doesn't happen too often, but great when it does
5. A special glance...the type that makes you flutter
6 Getting mail...especially a big package...
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road...on a nice day with someone you like to be with
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio...then breaking into dance
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside....with a hot cup of vanilla tea
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer...that still smell of fabric softener...
11. Chocolate milkshake (or vanilla or strawberry!)....in my case, vanilla
12. A bubble bath...with candles and incense
13. Giggling...especially with girlfriends...guys can't giggle!!! why??
14. A good conversation...a deep intense one that leaves you feeling enlightened
15. The beach...the malindi beach to be specific
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter...especially when you're dead broke!!
17. Laughing at yourself...I do this alot!!!
18. Holding a newborn baby...it's the most precious feeling ever!!
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours...or till sunrise!
20. Running through sprinklers...in the summer so you can run through them!
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all...I also do this alot.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful...especially when im in just a tshirt and just woken up
23. Laughing at an inside joke...and nobody else knows what is going on..
24. Friends...the kind that are there always in good and bad.
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you...and not ever mentioning that you heard it
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep...especially on a cold morning
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner)...when you've got all the butterflies inside
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones...especially ones you haven't seen in ages!
29. Playing with a new puppy...they are cutest silliest things ever!
30. Having someone play with your hair...while you watch a movie...
31. Sweet dreams...the kind that have you smiling the rest of the day
32. Hot chocolate...with whipped cream on the top
33. Road trips with friends...and some alcohol
34. Swinging on swings...with no shoes on so you can feel the wind between your toes.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger...and "just knowing" there's a connection
36. Making chocolate chip cookies...and the yummy smell while they bake
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies...when i least expected them
38. Holding hands with someone you care about...thats something really intimate
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change...better good
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you...and feeling that warm feeling knowing that it's what they really wanted.
41. Watching the sunrise...in the country or on the beach
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day...and knowing you're healthy
43. Knowing that somebody misses you....and cares alot about you
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply...another intimate for me
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think...and sticking to it

2006-03-02T19:00:00.000+01:00

I've just had a glass of wine...ok ok...two glasses of wine! So I've got that nice warm feeling, much like the woman in this painting. I just feel like laying down with no clothes on and feel clean cotton sheets all around me. I don't even want anyone in the sheets with me! Yeah, i know...totally weird!! The other day, my housemates and I were up till like 2 a.m talking bout this whole idea of love. Without saying who said what, some people believe in it, some felt that it was just not there. Not there in that its just a concept we want to believe in. It starts with physical attraction or just passion and infatuation and after that, what's left is tolerance. You have to learn to tolerate. One point that was brought up was this...if you can have lots of friends, love them all the same, just in different degrees and for different things, why can that not apply to your "the one"? Nobody is perfect and different people have different qualities about them.. You can't have the whole package no matter how badly you want it. It's a fact...nobody is perfect, everyone has their flaws and their good points. But then is love not that ability to love wholly, completely and without concentrating on these negativities but instead absorbing them and embrasing as part of the person...a rose has its thorns, does it not? Does it make it any less beautiful? You take it in it's whole...as a rose...leaves, petal formation, thorns, everything! So that was the basic trail of thought between us housemates that night.
As for now, today, I still want to do lots of things...I want to travel, I want to see so many things...i was talking to someone and they were like..."oh, kipepeo, you want to go everywhere"....I do. I really do...and not just that, but I will!!! Watch this space...i want to go to nepal, i want to go to karachi, i want to go to cuba, i want to go to argentina, egypt,ivory coast, so many places...so little time...mental...our equator plan is still on right? But I'll do all those. I have to...this is like a really ranting combined with a little too much wine post...I've sort of learnt to just let life be. Whatever happens, was meant to be...ofcourse it helps with my hoping and working towards certain things, but I've come to realise that it doesn't always work out as planned, but everything always ends up ok and you always need a basic plan to work towards. Do fríendships change? What happens if what used to be, just isn't anymore. The carefree laughter isn't there anymore, when you have to think before you say something, when you can't just chillax and catch a flick and have the time of your life. ok, let me stop now...

PRESS FREEDOM : LETTER TO KIBAKI

2006-03-02T16:06:00.000+01:00

Press Freedom: Letter to Kibaki

Dear President Kibaki,

On March 2, 2006 armed police raided the headquarters and printing plant of the East African Standard Group. In addition to destroying equipment including the printing presses and burning newspapers, they shut down the Kenyan Television Network television station.
This latest attack follows the jailing of three journalists from the East African Standard newspaper, attacks on the Citizen Weekly, and ongoing harassment of journalists by government-sponsored forces.

I urge you to:

1) Condemn these attacks in the strongest terms possible.
2) Dismiss any member of your government who played a role in the attacks.
3) Live up to your promise to support freedom of the press.

Please copy and paste a copy of this letter on your blog.

You may alter the wording to suit your needs. Campaign started by Keguro.

2006-02-28T13:31:00.000+01:00

Again the chair invades my life!! Last year I was told that I may have P.C.O.S...polycystic ovary syndrome...yes i know, i was like...what the ...? Its not as bad as it sounds really. And seeing that I was diagnosed early, it's easier to control, but I am at risk of getting diabetes, I should watch my weight, etc etc, the usual hormonal problem things to watch! Anyway, this year I had to go for more tests and go see the doctor again today...not my idea of a way to start the day...shower, dress, get funny cold instruments stuck in you. Today it was confirmed that I do have P.C.O.S Anyway, to cut a long story short, after lots of discussion and me asking millions of questions, I get put on the pill...! I'm still not sure about how I feel about that. I don't know if I'll remember to take the darn things almost everyday of my life! But I will have to...Oh to be a woman!!

ring ring...

2006-02-27T13:49:00.000+01:00

kipepeo's baby

meet my phone! It's black, it flips and I can do cool things with it....play my favorite game - canal control, change the colour settings when i'm bored, and lots of other cool things too. But, I am afraid I am getting to emotionally attached to it. It goes everywhere with me. If it was water resistant, i'd go into the shower with it. Yes people, I have become a slave to my phone! I have agreed with all my alter ego's that I will try and go into detox in a bid to slowly disentangle myself from my phone! Last week I left it at home one evening when i was out seeing friends, as hard as it was at first, complete with withdrawal symptoms (read shaking, sweating and cold hands) it was quite liberating. I can actually see myself doing that again! So here's to my phone detox!

2006-02-23T12:44:00.000+01:00

Try this....while you're sitting down, rotate your leg clockwise and at the same time draw a figure six in the air with your right hand....I cannot do it...can you? You are a hero if you can...good luck

2006-02-20T10:39:00.000+01:00

What a mad crazy fun weekend!!! Went to a different town like 2 hours away for some gig! I havn't had nearly as much fun in a long while!! But repurcussions, I almost fell asleep walking to school today!! Anyway, such is the life of the young!

2006-02-16T13:18:00.000+01:00

Now I live in a tiny village...it can't get any tinier than this place!! So amongst the clubs in this place, there is only one that is worth going to. The rest, well, lets not talk about the rest. So a friend came up from the big city helsinki this weekend...I tell you I now know what it feels like for people in shags when someone from nairobi goes there!! Anyway, so she came up, and with all the syke, we cheated ourselves into going out on both nights....yes to the same club!! its called the insanity of youth!!! Anyway, so the first night, we drank at home and went out. So at the door after paying for our jackets, we turn around to pay our 5euros (which by the way is a total rip off) for entrance into the club...well surprise surprise....some random dude who was ahead of us had paid for all three of us!!! Lucky night, how many times does that happen...best of all, we didnt even see him again, so he wasn't doing it to get lucky or anything. So we go in, all wow'd by our free entrance, music sucks, but hey, we got in free, so its ok, it doesnt feel too much of a rip off. Then these two guys come over to our table which had nothing but the big glass of ice water we were all sharing due to lack of syke even to drink...yes it was that boring!!! Turns out they are both cops. Not just cops, but Finnish C.S.I's....how cool is that....but like any other male, they were out to get some ass for the night, once that was established, we left. Next night we went back, luckily it wasn't as bad as the last night. This time some random dude, kept buying us drinks...like he even gave my friend his visa card, like what? If she was the wrong person, his account would have nothing at the moment, so she just put it back into his wallet and gave it back to him...things alcohol does, anyway, we were nicely intoxicated to actually enjoy the night and the music. Not like I remember what sort of music was played!!! Oh the joy of being young. This weekend.... another party! yaaaay!!!

2006-02-16T11:48:00.000+01:00

This my dear bloggers is the town I live in! Yes it is all snow...it was pretty and interesting in the beginning, now I just want it to go away!!

2006-02-16T10:24:00.000+01:00

In the spirit of valentines day, a friend of mine wrote this (you know who you are...)....it's a different aspect in an interesting way...

"love exists in this world and we are taught to love each other including our enemies. But to then misinterpret this gift and lie that love should be what sustains a relationship of two people is unfounded. The love that led to marriage is a thing of the past. Its more realistic to be in tolerance than to be in the so-called love.Tolerance is the new ways of doing things and it works. People are together simply because they tolerate each other.period!!"

2006-02-14T10:53:00.000+01:00

Happy valentines day all you special people!!! kipepeo kisses!!

chill pill anyone?

2006-02-13T11:16:00.000+01:00

This is what my life feels like...a bowl of spaghetti! Everything is all mixed up on a plate that's very nicely presented complete with garnishing!

The last few months I've been the angriest person I've known myself to be. Nothing works right and I hate everything.
I'm sick of school, I'm sick of all the assignments, I really really hate accounting, I'm sick of it being cold all the time, I'm sick of the snow, I'm sick of living in a small town, I'm sick of being upset, I'm sick of fighting, I'm sick of talking, sick of being nice, sick of smiling, most of all, I'm sick of being sick of everything.
I was walking home from school at like 6:30 the other day, listening to my music like I always do, and the next thing, I was crying. In the dark, walking alone, crying by myself....how weird is that? Actually the last two weeks I've been doing alot of that...crying...not really wailing or anything so out there, but I could just be sitting in my room and suddenly I feel my eyes get all moist. I don't know what's going on with me, but I don't like it. Saturday night, rather, early sunday morning, I had a shouting match with someone...well someone who is/are...a friend...oh I don't know anymore. I just needed to let it out. Let them know my take on things. It felt better after that, I slept well, but the next day I wondered if I should have. Should I have just let things fizzle out? good question. I just feel sooooo frustrated. Like I'm in a straight jacket and I don't know how to get free, but I'm being bombarded with all sorts of things. I don't know where all this rage has come from, I just need to chill. And here you were probably thinking that this was going to be a nice post about food or something yummy! ha!

king without a crown

2006-02-11T13:08:00.000+01:00

just heard this song on mtv...i kinda like it...

King Without A Crown

Chorus:
What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole in the ceiling
Givin' myself to you from the essence of my being
Sing to my G-d all these songs of love and healing
Want Moshiach now so it's time we start revealing

You're all that I have and you're all that I need
Each and every day I pray to get to know you please
I want to be close to you, yes I'm so hungry
You're like water for my soul when it gets thirsty
Without you there's no me
You're the air that I breathe
Sometimes the world is dark and I just can't see
With these, demons surround all around to bring me down to negativity
But I believe, yes I believe, I said I believe
I'll stand on my own two feet
Won't be brought down on one knee
Fight with all of my might and get these demons to flee
Hashem's rays fire blaze burn bright and I believe
Out of darkness comes light, twilight unto the heights
Crown Heights burnin' up all through till midnight
Said, thank you to my G-d, now I finally got it right
And I'll fight with all of my heart, and all a' my soul, and all a' my might

Chorus

Bridge:

Me no want no sinsemilla.
That would only bring me down
Burn away my brain no way my brain is to compound
Torah food for my brain let it rain till I drown
Thunder!
Let the blessings come down

Strip away the layers and reveal your soul
Got to give yourself up and then you become whole
You're a slave to yourself and you don't even know
You want to live the fast life but your brain moves slow
If you're trying to stay high then you're bound to stay low
You want G-d but you can't deflate your ego
If you're already there then there's nowhere to go
If you're cup's already full then its bound to overflow
If you're drowning in the water's and you can't stay afloat
Ask Hashem for mercy and he'll throw you a rope
You're looking for help from G-d you say he couldn't be found
Looking up to the sky and searchin' beneath the ground
Like a King without his Crown
Yes, you keep fallin' down
You really want to live but can't get rid of your frown
Tried to reach unto the heights and wound bound down on the ground
Given up your pride and the you heard a sound
Out of night comes day and out of day comes light
Nullified to the One like sunlight in a ray,
Makin' room for his love and a fire gone blaze

Chorus

Reelin' him in
Where ya been
Where ya been
Where ya been for so long
It's hard to stay strong been livin' in galus (exile) for 2000 years strong
Where ya been for so long
Been livin in this exhile for too long

2006-02-09T11:56:00.000+01:00

I need some luck, I'm crossing all my fingers, toes, just about anything that can be crossed! I NEED a summer job, like really really NEED one!!! There's this really great job in the uk. It's nothing lush, but I will get to travel through england and they give me accomodation and transport! I sent in my application, they said the next step is to go for a face to face interview. But I have to weigh if it is worth going all the way just for an interview and back again... so I'm thinking of asking them if I could have an interview via telephone...It's what I really really need for summer! So cross all your fingers that it all works out....

prince lyrics - reflection

2006-02-08T14:40:00.000+01:00

2 sevens together
Like time, indefinite
Trying 2 catch the glass
b4 it falls
Without a frown
Can U turn up the stereo?
Eye wanna play U this old song about love (is it about love?)
Can Eye do that?

Did we remember 2 water the plants today?
Eye 4got 2 look up at the moon because
Eye was 2 busy, said Eye was 2 busy
Eye was 2 busy
Looking at you babe

Still it's nice 2 know
That, uh when bodies wear out
We can get another
What does that 1 thing have 2 do with the other 1?
Eye don't know
Eye was just thinking about my mother

U know what
Turn the stereo back down
Ain't nothing worse than an old worn out love song
Tell me do you like my hair this way
Remember all the way back in the day
When we would compare who's afro was the roundest

Mirrored tiles above the bed
Fishing nets and posters all over the wall
Oh yes, sometimes
Sometimes Eye just wanna go sit out on the stool
And uh... play my guitar
Just watch all... all the cars go by...

love

2006-02-07T14:02:00.000+01:00

I need....

flutter thank you's for keguro

2006-02-06T15:31:00.000+01:00

thanks keguro...it works....yay!!! have a day full of flutters

2006-02-06T14:46:00.000+01:00

I changed my template...just for a fresh of breath air....i mean, a breath of fresh air!! But my pictures still will not upload...help anyone???

2006-02-06T12:51:00.000+01:00

Just had a lesson in the course developing business towards learning....BOOOOORING BORING course, but today I learnt something new. Its not the strongest nor the most intelligent who survive, its those most adaptable to change. That is so true. Life hits us all with unexpected events, the only way to get over them is to take them in your stide and move on, change, adapt, be flexible, grow. It's a lesson I learnt this year as early as we are into the year and I'm grateful that I did. So I have decided, I seem to be on the war path these days, so I want to take a two week time out break, find myself and I should be ok and renewed after that.

of ants and intoxication

2006-02-01T13:37:00.000+01:00

The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

ok, i just read that in a forward and wondered who on earth would figure that out? That is the randomest thing ever!!!

2006-01-30T08:08:00.000+01:00

For some unkown to me reason, my blog has refused to publish photos!! so Miss k if you are reading this, or anyone else for that matter, how on earth do you do it...my blog is starting to look all boring!! Hm, so, the lyrics to the song below I just like. I'm really tired today. Slept really late after going out in the snow and having a blast yesterday, but Finnish for foreigners class at 8a.m is not a great way to start a monday morning I can tell you that much!! So, here I am, not paying much attention to what I'm supposed to do....so will do it later when my brain feels alive and it doesnt feel as if someone poured sand into my eyes!!! OOOOOOHHHH I made tiramisu on saturday night thanks to my dear friend who brought me some mascarpone from italy since you cant find any in this god forsaken frozen land!!! oh lush it was!! yum! totally yum! Anyway, do you ever think one thing and that gets totally thrown back at you when you least expect it. It sort of feels like the rug has been taken out from under you, suddenly everything is spinning and you're in this abyss of nothingness! It's a numb feeling in a painful way if that makes sense! I miss being a child when i had nothing to worry about but being stressed about having to go back in the house by 5 and I wasnt done with my game of hopscotch! That was life. This! This is nothing close to that. This is one gruelling duel after another. Sometimes, you look back and you can laugh at it. You have to to be able to remain sane I guess. Anyway, This year, among my new years reso's....and I am determined to keep them...buy shares and define my style to be more me. I am not going to buy another piece of boring same old clothes item! Everything in my wardrobe is going to have a little spunk of kipepeo, a little spazz of me!! Have a great day y'all! kipepeo kisses