Monday, February 13, 2006

chill pill anyone?

This is what my life feels like...a bowl of spaghetti! Everything is all mixed up on a plate that's very nicely presented complete with garnishing!

The last few months I've been the angriest person I've known myself to be. Nothing works right and I hate everything.
I'm sick of school, I'm sick of all the assignments, I really really hate accounting, I'm sick of it being cold all the time, I'm sick of the snow, I'm sick of living in a small town, I'm sick of being upset, I'm sick of fighting, I'm sick of talking, sick of being nice, sick of smiling, most of all, I'm sick of being sick of everything.
I was walking home from school at like 6:30 the other day, listening to my music like I always do, and the next thing, I was crying. In the dark, walking alone, crying by weird is that? Actually the last two weeks I've been doing alot of that...crying...not really wailing or anything so out there, but I could just be sitting in my room and suddenly I feel my eyes get all moist. I don't know what's going on with me, but I don't like it. Saturday night, rather, early sunday morning, I had a shouting match with someone...well someone who is/are...a friend...oh I don't know anymore. I just needed to let it out. Let them know my take on things. It felt better after that, I slept well, but the next day I wondered if I should have. Should I have just let things fizzle out? good question. I just feel sooooo frustrated. Like I'm in a straight jacket and I don't know how to get free, but I'm being bombarded with all sorts of things. I don't know where all this rage has come from, I just need to chill. And here you were probably thinking that this was going to be a nice post about food or something yummy! ha!


Blogger Nakeel said...

oooh Kips I totally feel. There comes a time when one never understands whats going on in herself it happened to me and by the time I was slapping myself to face the reality I almost lost everything even friends. Hang on there gal be strong and all will come to pass and you be the cheerful butterfly you were before.

Lovely week.

2:48 PM  
Blogger Machozi said...

hey girl, I've been there...sometimes we need to breakdown in order to cover new ground in our life..dont fight the emotion and jus be strong enough to overcome...

3:51 PM  
Blogger Milonare said...


Dry the tears butterfly... Methinks its withdrawal symptoms after a great Xmas break.. Take heart... things can only look up from here...

5:24 PM  
Blogger spicebear said...

now i want spaghetti!

woiye what you need is some sunshine sweetie, the kind that comes from the inside (no, i'm not going all sappy on you, just thought i would say something of the sort cos the cold makes things seem even worse) okay, here are 5 things to do to get your mind off stuff
1.sing "i'm hynie the laughing hyena" over and over and see all the wierd looks that you get ...
2.throw thigns at the wall - really. it works.
3.put on some music and dance lke your life depends on it.
4. tiramisu! tiramisu and tiramisu. did i say tiramisu? yeah, tiramisu.
5....erm, i've run out of suggestions but you can hit me up on e-mail and IM (just a casually dropped hint, haha)

it will pass, and soon you'll be eating the spaghetti instead of feeling like it.

5:28 PM  
Blogger strawberries are said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:37 AM  
Blogger strawberries are said...

Typo error above pole.
Despair not hon, we all have days like those. I think its the cold, springs round the corner.

10:41 AM  
Blogger Sashe said...

i really feel you on this one, theres a thing bout small towns especially in Finland that is jus frustrating,(well,for me it is :)
Seems am not the only wierd one huh,
at times the posts start of good but ends na the njeve around you lol
Good thing is that,you will always find some reason to smile,and your back to you.
Cant wait for spring though.
Keep smiling..
great blog, cheers!!

3:51 PM  
Blogger Dre said...

You can listen to a sample of Hynie the Laughing Hyena here: and download the full MP3 ringtone here:

1:08 PM  

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