Thursday, June 30, 2005

hmmm...i have no idea whats been going on, i apparently fight with myself in my sleep. I've got two bruises and i have no idea where i got them from!! strange happenings!! I think my room is haunted! i just wrote a really long post which was inspired when a friend asked what my weaknesses are....i didnt like it so i just deleted the whole thing. i just dont know if i can pin point my weaknesses. its quite hard. they arent negative points in my personality...well i guess they can be...but i think they are more just vulnerable spots...well i guess that could be termed as a bad thing. my boyfriend told me something the other day that sounded quite weird at first but when i thought about it i was like, its actually true...he said, u love someone when uv thought of killing them...i asked him why and he said that only they know all the buttons to push and its true. when him and i have a disagreement, i know exactly what to do to get him upset and vice versa. i dont know if im making sense. It makes sense in my head but trying to get it to make sense on this post suddenly seems a bit hard. kanja and i are two very different people...sometimes i wonder if thats a good thing. I admit, sometimes it bothers me. But at the same time, we fit so well into each others personalities, he covers up for my weaknesses and i do the same for him, so its like a jigsaw puzzle. what he doesnt have i have and vice versa....(going off a bit...thats the 2nd time i've used ''vice versa'' in one post!!! geez) ....anyway...back to him...kanja..and i! I've never blogged about sex. But the other day, someone asked me how i know that my boyfriend isnt just sleeping around back home and im all the way here. All i said was...coz i know! Thats just it. Trust is big for me and i've given him all of mine. Not just because its some random thing i give to just anyone, but boy he worked for this one! so i trust him. Furthermore, sex for me isnt just some random thing that can be done anywhere and with anyone...(more emphasis on the anyone)...from vanilla sky...when you sleep with someone, you give them a part of you. Whether you want to or not. well at least i think it goes something like that. So no, i will not be just sleeping around with random people. And yes i do trust my boyfriend. and lastly....

'Nothing love does is to make sense, for it seeks to create a Utopia that cannot exist'


Anonymous chafu said...

Not to worry..Maybe the person that asked you about your weakness asked because they think very highly of you..maybe you inspire them and they just got curious! I agree with what you say about love..

4:31 PM  
Blogger Poi said...

Its hard for alot of people to pinpoint their weaknesses. I guess its coz it comes out as our bad side. But, each of us has one to them and that's why no one's perfect.

And dang! they always ask that in job interviews and its like they put you in a fix ya know? But, its just the human nature.

About TRUST. I admire your confidence that you've given all of it to Kanja en i belive its coz as u said he worked for it and he is worth it. Trust, donn come easy(at least not for me), so when its given its gotta be worth it. Good for you girl!

7:30 PM  
Blogger nick said...

-good on you on the trust thing! i think thats the best answer ever "cause i just know!"

we all have moments of self pity that we indulge in and at times i think about my weaknesses, or my failures..and trust me its never pretty

7:39 PM  
Blogger Farmgal said...

I read this jana then came back today to read again all the while thinking about my weakness. I choose not to share here but we all have a weakness or two whether we admit it or not. I think the reason why you trust kanja is coz he hasnt given u a reason not to trust him.
in relationships we need a partner who makes it easy to trust them!

4:40 PM  
Blogger Jay said...

I so feel you on the trust msichana.

9:55 PM  

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