Friday, November 25, 2005

the chair...

ok, this post might get people cringing as they read, but i couldn't care less seeing that it happened to me, so im sharing!!...by force!!!!
So as a woman, young lady, whatever, as a female, you should go for an annual gynocological check up. I hadnt gone for one. It's just one of those things that totally freaks me out and I just couldn't imagine the act of sitting on some weird chair with my legs spread in the air.
....haha...well, I couldn't put it off any longer and I went!...And this is the story of that visit....

Kipepeo arrives at the doctors office for her 12:30 appointment. I give my name at the reception and told to wait..."the doctor shall be with you shortly". So I waited. I dint really think about what to expect...I didnt want to...it was just too weird. So then a nurse comes into the waiting lobby and calls out my name. I pick up my back-pack and follow her in. She very kindly tells me to take off my clothes and put on one of the gowns that is hanging in the dressing area that I was in. So I did exactly that, all the time wondering to myself if its too late to cancel, but if i did, I would have to pay 27 euros for the cancellation...so I might as well just go through with it...how bad can it be right?

So clothes off, wearing this strange looking poor excuse for a gown...the colors were horrid! Anyway, go into the doctors office and there it is.....THE CHAIR!!! That is when my heart did some flips...that thing is one mean looking piece of equipment!! So first I sit in a normal chair as the doctor...a nice looking lady (very weird haircut though...it looked like it was cut with a panga)...anyway, i sit with her as she asks me just the normal questions...name, age, last period, etc etc. Then she goes..."ok, do you want to get up on the chair?"...Is she giving me a choice?

So feeling quite awkward and strange, i get up on the chair, put my legs up on the stirrups, close my eyes, hold my breath and wait....I can hear the clink of metal gadgets, so I open my eyes...dude I want to know what the **** she is doing to me. Maybe it would not be too bad if it was just her, but she has an assistant who is also looking up my legs. You can imagine you look down and there are two people carefully examining bits you dont look at too much yourself. I could feel her putting all sorts of things in me....and goodness, cant they find a way of like warming up those things...they are sooooo cold. Oh and when she said "this is going to be a bit uncomfortable", that translates to..."this is going to hurt"!!! Then she did an ultra sound....as if I was pregnant, but that thing they put in you is such an awful color...it was electric blue!!! can't it be a nice au naturelle color...brown, beige, something along those lines!!! So she probed, pressed, swabbed & scraped for a pap smear sample, and all sorts of injustices that i should not feel "down there". Then it was done. I got off the chair feeling mutilated, said thank you as politely as i possibly could, went out, put on my clothes and now i wait for it to happen all over again in a years time!...sigh!

What it is to be a woman!!!

7 Comments:

Blogger spicebear said...

aaaaaaaui and i have to do a checkup sometime soon ... jeez!

8:13 PM  
Anonymous A man and loving every second of it! said...

Thank God as a man we can see our crown jewels and regular service is only required in cases of illness and as you approach the 50's before that the Doc ain't an issue!

10:39 PM  
Blogger Nakeel said...

Gal sometimes we cant avoid these things.. that was a nice move.. Early this month i was there and i almost left at the middle of it..
@Spicey hurry hurry for ur turn..

10:10 AM  
Blogger Poi said...

I feel you big. Pap smears/gyn exams aren't even close to something we'd define as ok or ish ish.

It ain't nothing to look fwd to but I'd say go more often at least every 3 months, its not like this makes it better, just that you get used to it and learn how to deal it. I go as often so try it :) smile
p.s.thanks for sharing calendar's ticking...

2:52 AM  
Blogger Keguro said...

I'm confused.

Which was more objectionable: the terrible color schemes or the actual procedure?

Or was it simply reinforcing--it's ugly & uncomfortable?

Once, in a former life, I wanted to be a gynecologist--but the pictures in the books scar(r)ed me!

5:10 PM  
Anonymous woman and loving it too! said...

that was a hell of a doctors visit but really necessary, I just wish the tools were warmed too but you know they could carry germs at warmer temperature.

8:43 AM  
Blogger mutumia said...

woiye mami-- and the bitch is that you keep thinking that this time round- you now KNOW what it feels like- it's not gonna be that bad--- nope-- it's always as bad as you think it's gonna be....

3:38 PM  

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